Crack up for Childhood Cancer

IMG_4160Over five years ago I received the news that my eldest child had leukaemia. It didn’t come as an enormous shock to me, he had clearly been unwell for a while. I didn’t feel hysterical, shocked or even tearful as you might expect. I felt relieved. Relieved that there was a reason why my son couldn’t climb the stairs, why he was falling more frequently, why his joints had been troubling him and why he looked so ill and grey. I was relieved that his diagnosis of Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia (ALL) meant that he could be treated with a highly refined and successful protocol. In many ways I think we have been lucky. He has been off any treatment for over two years now. The risk of relapse is very low indeed and he is a normal, healthy boy. You can read more about our experiences here.

Five years ago, things were very different. Although the treatment for his form of ALL is all delivered on an outpatient basis, he spent most of December in hospital because of how ill it made him. He was anaemic and required blood transfusions, he had infections and at times he was in a lot of pain. Whenever he was admitted to hospital, one of the things that got us through was laughter. Despite his young age (he was only three) he could ‘get’ certain jokes. We tried our best to find simple gags to keep him (and us) laughing. One of my best friends, whose brother had died of leukaemia ten years earlier (he was much older and had a lot more complications due to his other health issues) got her Mum to collect the jokes from Christmas crackers for us. It was a great idea and now I want to resurrect it.

Last week I got the news that a little boy we have known since his birth has a tumour that is likely to need some fairly aggressive chemotherapy in the New Year. It is fair to say that I was more shocked and horrified by this news than I was about my own son’s cancer. His parents have a lot to think about at the moment because his cancer is rarer and requires more specialised treatment. At times like this it is natural to want to help but really, there is only so much you can do. I will certainly be making some one-pot home cooked meals to give them because I know how much I appreciated such things when my boy was sick. I will keep my appointments to give blood because I know how important transfusions are in cancer treatment. But what I want to do most of all is find something to make this little boy smile when times are tough.

I had a brain wave on Wednesday. It was Christmas dinner day at my children’s school and all the children get a cracker. I quickly rustled up a cracker shaped container and enlisted the help of the Deputy Head to collect all the jokes. The staff and children did a brilliant job of donating their jokes – we collected well over 100. Of course, lots of them are the same joke repeated but it feels good to know that everyone played their part.

So, I want your help. Send me your cracker jokes, send me your ‘Doctor, Doctor’ jokes, send me any jokes that will make an eight year old laugh and I will pass them on. You can leave them in the comments here. If you are local I will collect the actual jokes from the crackers from you. If you are not local but want to send me the jokes from inside your crackers, mention it in your comment and I will let you know how to post them.

I really hope that you can help me out this Christmas because it is going to be a difficult New Year for my friends. Anything that can help them through this will be much appreciated.

P.S. I’d rather keep this off Facebook/Twitter etc. at the moment because I want it to be a surprise.

35 thoughts on “Crack up for Childhood Cancer

  1. Here are my jokes of solid gold…

    Q: What’s brown and sticky?

    A: A stick.

    Knock, knock.

    Who’s there?


    Europe who?

    No, YOU’RE a poo!!! *five minutes laughing at own joke*

  2. This joke from my three year old….
    Why did the dog sit next to the fire?
    Cos he wanted to be a hot dog.

    We tell this joke to each other about eleven times a day at the moment.

    Oh and I just remembered Little B’s other joke-of-the-moment….
    What do you call a pig with no eyes?
    A pg.

    Rachael I am so sorry to hear about your friend’s boy. Will pass the joke request around my K&N group, we’re having a shindig on Monday night.
    Much lovexxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  3. It’s a knock knock joke. But you need to start:
    You: Knock knock
    Me: Who’s there?

    What’s the difference between snowmen and snow women?
    Snowballs! (Too rude?!)

  4. What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants coming round the hill?

    Oh look it’s a herd of elephants.

    What did he say when he saw a herd of elephants coming round the hill in sunglasses?

    Nothing, he didn’t recognise them!


    What’s yellow and dangerous?
    Shark infested custard.

  5. My favourite joke of all time:
    Why did the baker’s hands smell?
    Because he kneaded a poo.

    Funnily enough my 8-year-old was given a poo-themed joke book yesterday. Here are a few that tickled her.

    What do you get if you walk under a cow?
    A pat on the head.

    What wears a coat all winter and pants all summer?
    A dog

    What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

    What vegetable can you find in the toilet?
    A leek.

    What artist had loos upstairs and downstairs?
    Two-loos L’Autrec.

    How do you make a toilet roll?
    Push it down a hill.

    I could go on…

  6. What has a bottom at its top?
    A leg.

    -Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a toilet.
    –I thought you were looking flushed.

    Why did the fish blush?
    Because the seaweed.

    What do you get if you cross a chicken with a skunk?
    A fowl smell.

    As you can imagine, yesterday just flew by in our house.

  7. Been telling this story to my Little peeps and they would like to add a few more jokes to add to the collection…

    Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?
    Cos he had no body to go with.

    Why was the Egyptian boy sad?
    Cos his Daddy was a Mummy.

    what do you call a woodpecker with no beak?
    Unconscious!!! By little lady (age 9)

    Will keep thinking!xxxxxxxxxxxx

  8. Pingback: You’d better watch out, you’d better not cry … (Part Two) | Teddy And Tottie

  9. Q: Why can’t you play jokes on snakes?
    A: Because you can’t pull their legs.

    And …

    Q: Why did the jockey take his saddle to bed?
    A: In case he had night mares.


  10. Went out for a meal on Saturday night and despite far too much wine I did remember to bring the cracker jokes home in my pocket…
    What do elves learn at school?
    The elf-a-bet.

    Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?
    because he was outstanding in his field.

    Merry Christmas Rachael

  11. Mom is rounding up our cracker jokes, and getting me to type them in:
    What do ants use for hula hoops? Cheerios
    Where is the ocean the deepest? At the bottom.
    Why do seagulls live near the sea? Because if they lived by the bay they would be called bagels.
    Who was the first underwater spy? James Pond
    How did the telephone operator propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring.
    Which reindeer has the cleanest antlers? Comet

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