I know it’s not really ‘New Year’ any more but it is still January and so I feel it is still appropriate to write about change. Change is always with us but often it is subtle. Living with small children, as I have for the last eight and a half years, teaches me that every day. Children are always growing, always mastering new skills, going through small, positive, natural changes.
This year, I’m feeling lots of change in the air and luckily for me, I think it’s positive.
Babykins has started attending school nursery for three hours every afternoon. That is a change that I have been ready for for a few months. He is a very fun boy but lately he has needed a lot of entertaining. I think he has been through the kind of developmental change that means he is ready for more imaginative play, something that doesn’t come easily to me. When I watch him play with his sister it seems so natural but I find it so
boring hard. However, now that he is at nursery and the pressure is off me I am finding it a bit easier to do the kind of silly, pretend things that little children love. You can laugh at me but last week we played all sorts of ‘animal noise’ games. I don’t mind admitting to sitting under the dining room table pretending to be a pig in a pig stye. There was another variation that involved being a hen sitting on an egg. That would probably have looked even stranger if a neighbour had peeked in the window, but he loved it. I loved the fact that we were able to play together, without inhibitions but most of all, I loved the fact that I wouldn’t have to do it ALL day! When your child starts nursery at 12.30 you’ve got to start thinking about eating lunch at 11.30 or you’ll never be ready in time.
All this time at nursery has meant a lot more free time for me. I’ve been anticipating this and wondering how (if at all) I should change my lifestyle. One of the things that I have committed to doing is getting fitter (I hate that expression). As a practising yoga teacher I hang my head in shame at how I have neglected my physical body. I’ve still got plenty of flexibility but probably not enough strength or stamina to match it. I’m hoping that in the summer I will have enough of all three to complete an interesting challenge but I’m not ready to go public with that yet.
I feel that my brain is starting to wake up a little bit from the haze of child-rearing. Of course I’m still predominantly a stay-at-home mother but slowly, slowly, my career is coming back to life. I’m looking forward to doing some studying again and to re-connecting with my peers within the yoga and birth community.
I’m trying hard to be more organised, to not put off the little jobs that need to be done, to make lists and tick them off. It’s great to know that I’ve got three clear, uninterrupted hours to work on something and I think it’s having that time to focus that makes all the difference. For the last few years I have existed, as most stay at home parents do, in a world where an uninterrupted thought is a rarity.
So now, I’m planning, thinking and hoping that 2014 is going to bring some positive changes, mostly small, but hopefully all significant.